Things My Brother Taught Me

Inquiries   Care to Contribute?   To appreciate all you have and forget about all you lack

I don’t have the right words, but I wish I could take your pain away, make it mine. It’s time for your turn to be over. It has been for a long time.

— 1 week ago

It’s impossible to turn the lights on when I’m standing on your porch in the rain.

— 2 weeks ago
toptumblerquotes:

Tumbled me

Please let me be this person

toptumblerquotes:

Tumbled me

Please let me be this person

— 2 weeks ago with 23 notes

Hello, my darling,
I wasn’t expecting you for a while, so I believe there’s not much room for you to stay. Move along, you’ll be back I know after my grandparents have gone back to home. You’ll burrow deep in that place that’s filled with excitement now. Don’t be so sure of yourself this time though. I have a trick or two up my sleeve. We haven’t been apart this long in years, I know you miss me. Just don’t torment the children while you wait for me. I’ve armed them with sticks, you’ll crawl back to me broken and I’m not here to tend to you anymore. The sticks are to kindle the fire where your bound body will burn someday when we have all mastered our own vulnerability. So goodnight, my depression. I suggest you sleep with one eye open.
Love always,
I don’t clean your trash anymore leave me the world unknown

— 2 weeks ago
#bipolar  #depression 

You know you’re manic when: you go to a guy’s house who talks to you on murmur without even knowing his name. Completely sober. What did I just do? I don’t think this is me anymore.

— 3 weeks ago
fewthistle:

Le Bateau Mouche, Paris. 1949
Photographer: Willy Ronis

This is wonderful

fewthistle:

Le Bateau Mouche, Paris. 1949

Photographer: Willy Ronis

This is wonderful

— 3 weeks ago with 755 notes
"For a long time I wasn’t
entirely sure I wanted to
put myself back together,
because letting go of the
sadness would mean I
had to redefine myself.
And sometimes, I still feel
like chasing the darkness,
because I don’t exactly
know who I am without
it. I realised I made a
home out of something I
should have never let in."
— 3 weeks ago with 4829 notes

Maybe I love my team too much sometimes.

— 3 weeks ago
"We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there."
Unknown (via thatkindofwoman)

(Source: psych-facts, via thatkindofwoman)

— 3 weeks ago with 291739 notes
cerdarwoodmktg:

How cool it must be to rest while you are swing is going back and fort powered by a breeze

Dear (hopefully) future husband. I would like to have this please. Love, me.

cerdarwoodmktg:

How cool it must be to rest while you are swing is going back and fort powered by a breeze

Dear (hopefully) future husband. I would like to have this please. Love, me.

— 1 month ago with 1 note

Hello,
My name is Herc.
Something I’d never let you call me years ago.

Something that would have made me weep years ago.

Something that would have made me break down.

But I’ve progressed since then,
We’ve progressed since then,
And each of us have new things to face.

Maybe we may learn something from each other,
Years from now,
Because I haven’t made that much progress quite yet.

I haven’t called you daddy for a long time.
There was a bitterness tinged “dad”.
To a rage full “Dick” behind your back.
To “Richard” now that I’m older and see that your neglect was a product of your illness,
The illness you passed on to me.

So while I may not remember your voice,
Vaguely picture your face,
And would never know your smell from a stranger’s anymore,
We share something.

Something that connects us across the miles,
The lost phone calls,
The photos never taken.

Something that will make me weep at you death.

Not for losing a father whose physical grasp in his arms I will miss,
But for losing the stranger who made me understand and deal with this,
For the stranger who made me feel so not alone on the nights I cringed to sleep,
For the stranger that this illness took from being my daddy again.

I’ll always hate the things you did instead of coming to see me,
I’ll always hate the things you said to me or my mom,
But I’ll never hate the person you tried to be behind it,
Because I know those bad things were the monster crawling out.

I may never hate you,
But it’s hard to love someone who gives up on the fight to keep their daughter and destroy the monster getting in his way.

Here’s to being beautiful strangers,
And to the determination your failing gives to me to finish my fight.

Goodnight, my father.

May the monster inside you lay in peace for a time,
May mine grow weaker from the wounds I inflict.

For I said my final goodnight to my daddy years ago,
But I wish for my final goodnight mommy to be with the last beat of my heart.

— 1 month ago
#bipolar disorder  #hypomania  #instead of dreaming  #poetry  #let it go 
"Be with someone who you don’t have to hide from, in any way. Whether it’s your morning face before you’ve put your make up on, an embarrassing story to tell about something that happened on your way home, or an ambition you’ve had since you were six… make sure you end up with someone who knows all of it and still loves you. A person you can tell your whole life to is a person worth spending a life with."
these-greatexpectations (via thatkindofwoman)

Still looking for that someone. Hopefully someday :)

(via ontwolanesof-freedom)

— 1 month ago with 143140 notes