You were everything to me and that was the problem.
I was just someone to you.
Fold me into myself so I can maybe see what’s so deep inside and killing me. I find no comfort in my own dreams, no peace in my heart, or so it seems, until the day I feel something. Something other than this. Help me my heart, my heart to find bliss. I’m dying inside, slowly and creepily. Please darkness rest, and let me be.
"Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it."
"I looked at everyone and wondered where they came from, and who they missed, and what they were sorry for."
"We can’t selectively numb emotion. Numb the dark and you numb the light."
Just feeling so hurt right now. I’m ready to be done with this.
I can still smell him in my sheets.
The man looking for a one night stand.
Who left when he found I was virgin as Mary.
And staying that way.
Until my grandmother’s ring adorns my left hand.
Not my right.
I’m flipping the pillows tonight.
And washing down to the springs tomorrow.
Ashamed is a word best reserved for this.
Best reserved for me.
""If you could love the wrong one so much, imagine how much you will love the right one."-Unknown"
I’m afraid my ob/gyns think I must have been abused. I’m 2 for 2 in crying immediately upon being touched during an exam and today completely asked her to stop. If I have an ovarian or uterine cyst I won’t know for at least another year. I may have never been abused or raped physically, but I’ve never been comfortable with myself as a woman. Deeper issue here? Maybe.
I don’t want to be a person anymore. I’m requesting to take the fatal status in a car crash away from someone else today. Then it will be a tragedy because of a horrific accident, not a tragedy because I fell a victim to the weakness hidden in my own mind.
"Sometimes I regret being nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and for making unworthy people a priority in my life"